hillsong ii

It’s been hot and stormy since this afternoon. I feel moist, sticky, and uncomfortable. As I drove to the evening service at Hillsong tonight, there were rumbles of thunder from a distance, and the clouds were rolling thick and low.

I got to the 7pm service nice and early this time, which was great. The car park “hosts” were out in force again, this time wearing plastic ponchos to protect themselves from the imminent rain … my guy gave me a nice big smile and an “air handshake” as I drove past him. I passed a bunch of people lining up for their coffee and eating ice creams as I walked into the foyer. The resource centre (shop) is always open before and after services, and they were doing a roaring trade.

The big screens in the auditorium made me feel great as they announced: “WELCOME HOME: Better one day spent in your house, than a thousand elsewhere (Psalm 84:10)”. The fairy lights must be a permanent fixture, I figure. It took me about ten minutes to find somewhere to sit because of all the Bibles, handbags, scarves, and jackets reserving the chairs on behalf of other people. It seems strange to hear, “sorry, you can’t sit here” in a church. I ended up being fairly close to the back again. I started to wonder whether there was something big going down that I didn’t know about, and that perhaps I was gate-crashing a special event I should have pre-booked a ticket for.

While everyone was sorting themselves out, they had some nice visuals up on the screens, accompanied by Bible verses. In one video clip, I noticed some people wearing shirts with “street teams” on them, working away at very hands-on looking activities. This sparked my interest; perhaps some practical work going on where I could be involved? Then the music began to crescendo, the Bible verses came thick and fast, intermingled with catchy phrases, and … WHAM! The service had begun.

Last week, when they said the evening meetings were more “relaxed”, what they should have said was, “informal”. There was nothing “relaxed” about the fast-paced music, nightclub-style light effects, swinging video cameras, and perfect “jumping in unison” I saw tonight.

I didn’t know any of the songs. Most everyone else did, though … especially the people down on the floor area, which was pulsing like a mosh-pit. Just as I was thinking, This is like a rock concert, the leader came up to the microphone and said, “We didn’t come here to have a concert…” Oops. I really got the guilts after that, and decided that I need to try and be a little more open-minded, and a little less cynical, if I’m gonna get anything meaningful out of the whole exercise.

Can’t say I lasted very long…

Half an hour after the service had started, the songs were over, and the leader came to the stage. He led an altar call, which was fascinating to watch. More of this: “All heads bowed, all eyes closed” (not many people did this … I know ’cause I was looking) … “raise your hands” and “come down the front” and so on. One guy a few rows away from me had raised his hand, but wasn’t making his way to the stage area, so he received a couple of enthusiastic nudges from his neighbour behind him, and ended up being guided down the front by a friendly host. I reckon about a hundred people walked down, and the people in the mosh-pit instinctively knew they had to move aside to make way for them all. Again, everyone got a free Bible.

He read out some prayer requests, and comments from people wanting to praise God … including this one: “I’ve been praying for my daughter since April 2003, but now I want to praise God because she has been cured of AIDS!” The screaming and cheering was incredible.

Then he announced, “Are you ready to give tonight?” We got to watch another very slick presentation (complete with slow motion, black and white film effects) of someone’s testimony. The hosts handed around the buckets, and after reading this Bible passage,

After this, Jesus travelled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him, and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out; Joanna the wife of Cuza, the manager of Herod's household; Susanna; and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means.

— Luke 8:1–3

they collected the offering.

Tonight’s guest speaker was Chris Hill from Dallas, Texas. He’s a bald, sweaty, energetic wordsmith who has a connection somehow with T. D. Jakes, a well-known American preacher. He bounced his way onto the stage — accompanied by a standing ovation from the crowd — and announced (in his voice which made him sound like a rusty earthquake) that he was “praying for a prophetic word that would feed the destiny of someone’s life”. Before he began to speak, he launched into a flowery prayer that was jam-packed full of churchy jargon … if you were a first-time visitor, you wouldn’t have had a clue what he was talking about…

This was his Bible reference:

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So the Israelites did as Joshua commanded them. They took twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, as the Lord had told Joshua; and they carried them over with them to their camp, where they put them down. Joshua set up the twelve stones that had been in the middle of the Jordan at the spot where the priests who carried the ark of the covenant had stood. And they are there to this day.

— <!--[endif]-->Joshua 4:8–9

The title of his message was “The Middle Praise”. Here are most of his main points. If you think about them, you can kind of see the analogies to the passage from Joshua.

• This text represents a transition in the life of Israel.


• Have you experienced the frustration of being close enough to see something (the Promised Land, in this case), but too far away to have it?


• Joshua wanted the whole tribe to be useful … A miracle is not about one person, but about everyone working together.


• God is waiting for you to “step in and believe” … (This is where Hill interrupted himself to say, “I was at the airport — Hallelujah! … and I had a revelation…” Just like the automatic doors at the airport, God’s doors won’t open until you get close enough … get it?).


• Watch who you walk with … Some people need to “wait on the shore ’cause their faith is not ready”.


• The breakthrough you need is waiting for you to step in.


• It’s not just about you; it’s about creating a breakthrough for other people.


• Don’t wait ’til you get there … Start building your monument now (that is, “in the middle” … get it?). “If you can dream your testimony now,” he screamed, “you’ll be able to speak it later on!”

He told a very long story about when he was preaching in Russia. This is what he said: “I got to the altar call, threw the net … tikka-tikka-tikka-sah! Everybody got saved.”

Apparently the same thing happened two nights in a row, in exactly the same way. On the third night everyone was so excited they started running around the church, and a girl in a wheelchair was wheeling herself around at breakneck speed (not waiting ’til she “got to the other side,” she was praising God “in the middle” of her circumstances … get it?). When she fell out (he said) she just got up and started running with everyone else. Then another night a woman told him how she could feel the “cancerous tumour inside” her just dissolving away as he spoke about Jesus. The frenzied stamping and clapping from the crowd was amazing.

It took him about an hour to get to that point. He was jumping around the stage, screaming and laughing and sweating, talking the whole time, but not really saying very much. I was already cranky and frustrated by this time. So, then, when he was just about to start his final prayer, I walked out.

Getting soaked as I slowly headed back to the car, I started thinking about everything that’d just happened. Why was I so annoyed? Why did his jokes irritate me so much? I’d promised myself at the beginning of the service that I was going to try and be open-minded … what happened? Why does hearing stories about people being cured of AIDS and cancer turn on the cynic inside me? Don’t I believe in miracles? Don’t I believe God can do such amazing things in people’s lives?

Thinking about it now, I think the hype and the showmanship really turn me off. It doesn’t seem genuine. I appreciate that it can work for a lot of people (it certainly seemed to be doing something) … but maybe it’s just not my style…

So, the question now is, do I go back again (seeing as I promised myself I’d commit to a month), or head off down a different path?... What do you reckon?

Cheers,
Andy

P.S. Coincidentally, this article came up on the Macquarie University News website today. Check it out. It’s pretty interesting.