denomination

/də,noməˈneιſən/ n. 1 a name for a group or class of things. 2 a religious group or sect.

So far, the planning aspect of the wedding has gone very smoothly, I think. Rachel and I have been taking things one step at a time, just organising whatever needs to be done as it happens, and there haven’t been too many dramas. We paid a deposit for a photographer, Rachel’s bought her dress, ... but the Church has been one of the most difficult aspects of our planning.

We’ve arranged for Michael Zanetti to be our photographer on the day, and had a meeting with him a few weekends ago. I didn’t really know that much about him, but he took the photos for my sister’s wedding back in 2006 (see my previous post: “marriage”) and both Belinda and Mum suggested we should speak with him. He was very friendly, accommodating, and showed us some of his work and the different packages he offers. Apparently he doesn’t advertise a whole lot, but relies largely on word-of-mouth for referrals. It was a very constructive session for us, and we feel very confident about his service. (Plus, he’s one of the cheaper wedding photographers around). I’m looking forward to the “pre-wedding photo shoot” he’s offered us.

Rachel’s very excited about the purchase of “the dress”. It wasn’t the one she originally had in mind, but one she happened to see hanging on the rack at one of the boutiques she visited with her sister. She keeps telling me how she wishes I could see it, but knows it’s “not allowed” until the wedding day. That’s all right with me; I’m looking forward to the nice surprise...

I never thought it would be such a hassle to arrange a venue for the wedding ceremony itself. We already have our reception venue booked, have paid the deposit, and have also reserved a formal garden to have photos taken after the service. All this was relatively easy. My biggest disappointment has been the hurdles we’ve had to tackle in trying to book a Church. We’re not getting married near home (in fact, it’s a reasonable drive out of Sydney), so we wanted to find a nice venue which was comfortable, reasonably attractive, and not too pricey. I never realised that wanting to use our own minister would be such a drama. The Presbyterian Church we contacted had strict rules about who was allowed to marry in their Church. When I asked for an explanation of the reasons behind these rules, we were told we didn’t “meet the criteria” because we weren’t members of the Church or had a family connection there. Then the minister sternly told me he “wasn’t able to take the matter any further” with us. I didn’t think I was being particularly pushy, so the tone surprised me a bit. Anyway, that was the end of that! So, a couple of weekends ago, we visited a neighbouring Anglican Church. I’d phoned them earlier, asking their opinion about using our own minister, but they encouraged us to attend one of the services and call back when the senior pastor returned from his leave. We enjoyed the service and the message there. They’d sent us preliminary info about fees and other requirements (something like $400 for hall hire, an additional $50 for a “verger”, a “compulsory” marriage preparation course at extra cost, and a session of “Christianity Explained”). They were quite friendly on the day we were there, and potentially the sanctuary was big enough for the number of guests we’ll invite. I was hoping we wouldn’t need to go to “Christianity Explained” — we’re pretty cool with understanding what that’s all about! — and figured I could work that all out when I called the senior pastor. Sadly, we were rejected again! Not so much that we wanted to use their Church (they clearly allow that and have procedures in place for that to occur), but using our own minister was (again) the problematic requirement. I like to have an explanation for these sorts of things. His reply to my question was that “it’s not really my decision, but rather a new regulation just been passed by the bishop.” What a cop-out! He also said that even though we’re “all part of the same ‘family’,” they’ve had problems previously with ministers from other denominations preaching messages they’ve not been happy with. My immediate thought was that it would be quite easy to ask any minister what he/she was going to say before the sermon was “approved” (how far wrong can you go at a wedding?) ... but maybe they just think it’s easier to say “no”.

In a way, I can accept that it is their building, and their denomination, so they can choose who comes in and for what purpose. On the other hand, though, I find it extremely disappointing that our own Christianity and history was irrelevant, and that despite our own confessions of faith, they were worried about what another Protestant minister was going to say ... at a wedding ceremony, of all places!

Personally, I’m fed up with that type of insular, sectarian, bigoted attitude in the Christian Church. It’s that kind of stuff that gives us all a bad name. The Presbyterians and the Anglicans haven’t done themselves any favours from our point of view ... If ever we were looking for a new Church family after we get married, we know which denominations we won’t be looking at!

In contrast, this morning we went to a Uniting Church service. The Church itself doesn’t look too crash hot from the outside (a big consideration for Rachel), but the inside is pretty, the sanctuary is certainly big enough, has a nice outlook over the bush, is at a perfect distance between home and the reception venue, doesn’t cost anywhere near as much ($80 for building hire) ... and most importantly from my perspective: the people and the pastor were the warmest, friendliest, most welcoming, most agreeable and open, most flexible we’ve encountered.

So, it seems like that’s the winner! I’ll contact the pastor again today, and then everything is confirmed. After that, I think we’ll have a little bit of time for a short breather from planning, because now most of the big stuff is done!

Hope you come back to the blog to check out how things are progressing next time.

Cheers.

budget

/'bΛdZət/ n. an allotment of expenditures for various items over a period of time. v.t. to make a plan for spending based on how much you have.

There’s been a lot of discussion this past week about finances. So far, things are going pretty well, but at the back of my mind is always the consideration about cost. I think I’ve been fairly relaxed and easy-going about everything, but Rachel (who’s probably being a little more practical than I am) keeps reminding me about how we’re on a fairly tight budget. I think I just need to rein myself in every now and then!

Last Saturday we took a car trip to check out some venues for the ceremony, photography, and reception. We’ve found some very nice places, and for the photos and reception I’ve been told the date we want is available. We’re waiting on final quotes and confirmation of our requests before we pay a deposit. The church we like the look of for the ceremony isn’t yet confirmed. I telephoned them earlier this week and left a message on their answering machine, but haven’t heard back yet. The outside of the church looks great, but we need to check out the inside to see how many people it can hold … not to mention the fact that we need to know whether they’ll let us use their sanctuary on the day we request … and of course, we need to know how much they’re going to charge us. We have a couple of back-up options, but obviously, we’d love our first choice. I reckon if I haven’t heard from them by the end of the week, I’ll need to call them again, or perhaps send them an e-mail. Mum started to get into a bit of a panic about “how little time there is left” before the day, but I think things will all be OK.

Anyway. So far, things are going pretty smoothly. My parents and Rachel’s parents had dinner last Saturday night, and it was nice for the six of us to get together. It was the first time Rachel’s dad had met my Dad, so that was good. Overall, it was a very successful evening. I’m looking forward to the next one; it’d be nice if the whole family (that is, brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews) could be in on that one.

I’ve been carried away with the excitement of it all, and already started looking at table decorations, invitations, and “bonbonnieres” or “favours”. This is probably a little bit premature, but … oh, well! I’m getting some good suggestions and ideas.

Phil came ’round to my place last night, which was great. We had dinner (a baked tuna risotto I’d made) and watched an episode from LOST season one. After that, we chatted for a couple of hours about the wedding, and his responsibilities as “best man”! He was keen to know what I was going to expect of him, but I think I’m pretty easy-going. Depending on what we do with car hire, he might need to drive on the day, and I’ll need him to help with choosing clothes, because my dodgy colour vision might let me down in the “matching swatches” department. Other than that, I’d prefer the lead-up to the wedding to be relaxed and casual. I’m looking forward to having a few nice meals with my groomsmen, just hanging out, watching some DVDs … that kind of thing. I’ve also suggested it’d be nice for all the bridal party to have dinner together one evening a little closer to the day. That will probably depend a fair bit on when Copland and Gary fly into Sydney.

So far, pretty much all is on track. Our next step will be to start confirming venues and paying deposits. Of course, Rachel is getting closer to choosing a dress, but I’m not allowed to have anything to do with that!

Cheers,
Andy

propose

/prə'poυz/ v.i. to make an offer of marriage.

Rachel and I are engaged! About a week ago, we had a really fancy dinner at the Sir Stamford Hotel dining room in Circular Quay. The restaurant was very nice, but there weren’t many people there for a Friday night. The food was great, and the restaurant was very accommodating. I’d rung ahead to book the table, and asked if they could make sure there were some gluten-free options for me. When we arrived, there weren’t any issues at all! I had some very tasty pork ribs with potatoes, and a wattle-seed brûlée for dessert. Delicious!

After dinner, we went for a quick walk down along the harbourside, and that was quite pretty, because the city was all done out in bright colours for the “Vivid” light show; all the buildings were shifting through the spectrum, there were fairy lights in the trees, and the opera house was being splashed with different colours. (Don’t think I’d planned that! It was all a lucky coincidence! As we were driving in to the city, I was thinking to myself, Wow! This is pretty cool, and great timing!)

As we sat down in front of the opera house, looking out at the harbour bridge, the water, and across to Kirribilli and North Sydney, I asked Rachel to marry me. She said yes! The weather was icy cold, with a chilly wind blowing. Rachel (who’d had an inkling that it was going to be “the night”) had brought her camera along. The photo turned out all right, which is a bonus, since I could barely keep the camera still because I was shivering so much!

Since then, the past week has been a whirlwind of discussion and the beginning of organisation. There’s a lot that goes into a wedding which I hadn’t realised. We’ve been talking about churches, reception venues, dates, themes, guests, music, ministers, dances, food, photographs and photographers, cakes, travel, the honeymoon ... the list goes on! At the moment, things are in the very early stages, but we’re looking at narrowing down our choices for reception and service very soon. That’ll help us start to organise some of the other things we need to do. We’ve already chosen our bridal party, so that’s very exciting. Rachel’s very happy with the ring. It had to be resized, but that’s all finished now, so I’ll take it back to her tomorrow.

We’re heading for a January 2011 wedding date. That’s not too far away! Stay tuned!