uncertain

/Λnˈsзtən/ adj. 1 not known with certainty; not finally established; in doubt; dubious. 2 not sure; doubtful. 3 likely to change; not to be depended upon; not reliable. 4 not constant; varying. 5 not clearly identified, located, or determined; vague; indefinite. 6 not settled or fixed; indeterminate. 7 that may not happen.

I’ve been back in Sydney about a week-and-a-half.

It’s been good to be home. I’ve been catching up with the relos, and some friends, and have really enjoyed spending time with my family and Heather and Gary. We’ve had some good chats about all sorts of stuff … life, family, travel, Fiji, Australia … the list goes on. I’ve spent a fair bit of time doing some mundane stuff, like Christmas shopping, tidying up, getting my driver’s licence replaced (the old one was stolen during the robbery), “un-suspending” my health insurance, and all that kind of stuff. I seem to have fallen back into the routine of living the Australian life pretty easily. Is that a good thing? I’m not so sure …

Mum, Dad, Heather, Gary, and I had an awesome weekend away in Dubbo, which I really enjoyed. It was a bit of a trip down memory lane for me, taking me back to the days when Dad would take us out west on his country sales runs. We went through the Blue Mountains, Lithgow, Bathurst, Wellington, Dubbo, and Mudgee. It was pretty hot out there, and there are noticeable differences in the landscape. I always remember the Megalong Valley as being a picturesque, green place, but now it’s just parched, brown, and tired-looking. The scenery continued like that most of the way. The contrast between the “outback” I remember from childhood and the drought-ridden countryside now is amazing.

Despite being home, I’ve been a bit restless … and I haven’t been able to put my finger on exactly why. I was certainly sorry about the way we had to leave Fiji in such a rush. But people have been asking me, “So, what are you going to do now?”

The answer is, “I don’t know.” I’m not really sure what I want to do. The volunteer experience has opened my eyes to a whole lot of different people, experiences, opportunities, and adventures, and right now I’m just not sure what path I want to follow. I do feel that some of the things I had as priorities before, aren’t so important to me now. (In my first week back, my Nan started asking me about when I was going to start getting into the real estate market. I certainly wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be talking to her about it then, but even now, I think my priorities may be a little different to hers … not to mention that with the Sydney real-estate market the way it is right now, there’s very little chance I’d be able to afford “something of my own” any time soon. I think that perhaps “owning my own home” just isn’t as important to me as it was before). I really enjoyed the “fresh start” Fiji gave me … I was able to “begin again” in a way … meet new people and do things I’d never done before … all without prior knowledge, history, baggage, and the rest. I probably didn’t appreciate it while I was there, but now — as Heather pointed out to me — I realise that there are things that are different about me, or ways in which I’ve changed, but to everyone back home, things are just the same. This may take some time to reconcile.

I have been saying to people, “I’ll just wait and see.” I really would like to just hold out for a bit and see what God’s got in store for me, but I also will eventually need to start thinking about whether I want to take on any new activities or commitments in 2007.

It’s all very confusing, and there aren’t any clear answers just yet. But let me change the subject and end this post with a few lists:

Things I don’t miss from Fiji:

• The poor roads


• The stray dogs running everywhere


• UHT milk. You just can’t beat full cream, 100% dairy, homogenised, pasteurised milk. Especially on cereal in the mornings!


• Sales staff in shops. If you say to someone in Australia, “I don’t need any help, thanks; I’m just browsing,” then that’s the end of it. Not in Fiji!


• Traffic pollution, and littering. At least in Australia we’re a little more environmentally aware. (I’m surprised that solar power hasn’t caught on more, though … But that’s a whole other blog entry!)

Things I miss from Fiji:

• The friends I made, and the people I worked with


• Being involved with the Deaf community


• Having an independence I’d never had before, and having to cook, clean, etc. etc. for myself (and others! I miss being the “chef guy” of Team Veiuto!)


• Cheap haircuts. I don’t care what anyone else says, nobody flamboyantly waving some scissors around my head for ten minutes deserves to be paid $18–$20. It’s practically daylight robbery.


• Altruism. There’s not too much of it here.

Anyway. That’ll do for now. I hope to put another entry in here around Christmas, so make sure you check back.

Cheers,
Andy

evacuate

/i'vækjueιt/, v. 1 to leave empty; withdraw from. SYN: quit, vacate. 2 to withdraw from a place in danger or that has undergone some disaster.

This blog post comes to you from my home city of Sydney. Yes, that’s right. I’m back in Australia.

I was enjoying the clean-up process at school on Thursday … All the students had gone home for the holidays, and the teachers were scheduled to have a Christmas party the following day. Suddenly, at about midday, my mobile rang. It was our in-country manager. “Andrew,” he said, “you have to let your housemates know you are all being evacuated to Nadi this afternoon. You are allowed to take one piece of hand luggage and a 20kg suitcase. We’ll meet you at 2pm.” So I headed home. With two hours to go, the packing was a mad rush of me trying to fit all my belongings into the suitcase (which ended up weighing about 25kg). Of course, it was going to be impossible, so then I had to try and decide what to leave behind. We had no idea how long we would be away, or anything.

We were bussed around to Nadi that afternoon, and that evening had a visit from the regional manager. She told us we would all be sent back to Australia the next day.

They put us up at a backpacker hotel on Thursday evening, and paid for our dinner and breakfast on Friday. Friday morning was spent wandering the streets of Nadi, trying to madly cram two weeks’ worth of sightseeing and souvenir shopping into a few hours. Then, on Friday afternoon, following some very hasty goodbyes to friends and flatmates of the last 5½ months, we were on planes headed back to various cities in Australia.

As you’re reading this, please spare a thought and a prayer for the other volunteers on our programme. Some of them had only been in Fiji a few months, and were just starting to get the hang of their assignments and living in Suva. Others still had about six months to go. I have been fortunate, in that I was almost ready to start packing up anyway. I think, in my head, I was already back in Australia (if that makes sense). But for other people, the news was stressful and upsetting. There are some Aussies who now have no jobs and no homes. We have also been told there’s no way they can advise them when they’ll be returning to Fiji … if at all. I guess there’ll be a fair few people with their eyes glued to the TV and internet, watching closely to see what happens over the next little while in Suva…

Since then, I’ve had a bit of a chance to catch up with family and friends (although I still have much more of this to do), do a bit of shopping and mundane household-y organising type stuff, and unpack my suitcase. I have a long list of things that I also need to try and organise in Suva (not the least of which is getting the rest of my stuff — sheets, some clothes, books, painting things, papers — shipped back to Australia). I also want to check up on the people back in Suva, to make sure they’re doing OK.

Thanks for checking the blog regularly. It’s not over yet! Stay tuned to the news, and see what’s happening in the place I’ve called “home” for the last 5½ months!

Cheers,
Andy